Esoteric

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy



( Day Seven: Whatever Tickles Your Fancy )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy


( Day Six: A Quote )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy


( Day Five: A YouTube Clip )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


( Day Four: A Site )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy



( Day Three: A Book )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


( Day Two: A Picture )

Sharing is Caring: for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


( Day One: A Song )

I like quizzes like this.


( This was accurate for me. )

Everyone should do this.
http://www.politicalcompass.org/
Here are the results on the Lookbook.nu forums.


( The Grand Results )

So I haven't posted in a month.
Which is somewhat sad, because so much has happened in that month.
bananaslugss knows about nearly all of it.
It's just been long and tough.
Chicago was a nice trip. Nothing really needs to be said about it, I think. If you're curious though, look for the pictures on my Flickr that were obviously not taken in the summer. You can see those pictures right here. My favourite is me standing on top of the Sear's Tower, five feet out in the air. Fun times.

I spend quite a lot of my time on Lookbook these days. It's a great experience in the interaction of cultures, and fashion. I like fashion; I've always considered myself a little fashionable; if nothing else, I certainly have always had a interest, even if it was a light, casual interest. I can feel my style changing, as I soak up the the styles of the people I have met on this site; tweaking my own style with the fashionable nuances of others.

I end up on Lookbook's forums more often than scanning the infinite amount of photos that are constantly added to that crazy place. No, you see, I enjoy talking to all the crazy people uploading those crazy pictures. They're interesting folks. There's one particular thread that peaked my interest, where different folks post what their rooms look like. In a completely separate conversation with bananaslugss, we were talking about a LiveJournal community - ourbedrooms - that I'll probably add to soon. I decided to show everything off here first; this is my room. It's where I put my head at night; it's often where I type my novels, write my articles on Voilà!, and where I upload new photos and design things like the new art project I've created with some friends, the Seven Day Art Collective. It's my room. And I quite enjoy it.


( Welcome to my Home. )

To pass my day away... and for my own benefits.

+ Began playing Eve Online.
- Don't really play EVE Online anymore...
- Dealt with insomnia.
+ Successfully overcame aforementioned insomnia.
- Didn't enjoy overcoming aforementioned insomnia; preferred it.
+ Got a PS3.
- Buying the PS3 made me broke.
- New games on the PS3 are making me progressively more poor.
+ Played GTA4, and it's pretty intense.
+ Got air conditioning in my living room (finally).
- Haven't had guests at my house since Spring Break.
- Learned Guinness tastes like fermented steel barrel.
¿ Learned Fosters is sub-par, but tastes like caramel?
+ Learned Ramune is very tasty.
+ Learned/mastered how to count from 1-99 in Japanese (within two hours).
+ Became addicted to True Blood.
+ Had a nice beginning to Summer vacation.
- Was conned into taking a summer course during second semester.
- Became very stressed over aforementioned course.
+ Seem to be passing aforementioned course fairly easily.
+ May be rewarded with an iPhone soon, for no real reason?
- May not have money to maintain iPhone.
- Does not have a job.
- Will not have his old job at the elementary school.
- Still haven't hung up Christina's awesome music poster.
- Have been neglecting Voilà! due to laziness.
+ Recruited a new writer for Voilà!
- The guy is incredibly weird and awkward.
- Still needs to finish Left 4 Dead with Travis.
+ Gained potential (somehow).
+ Found my key-necklace.
- Lost something.
+ Made a delicious quesadilla.
+ Will more than likely meet Kristin (finally).


I'll be returning to Chicago soon. It'll be wonderful to see the city once more, when it's lit up with life in the middle of a hot and humid summer, instead of the bleak, snowy Winter. I can't wait to get lost again. My one goal, my only goal, for this wonderful trip to be truly complete, is to meet Kristin. I've known that crazy girl for three years at least, and we've never once met; separated by 1000 miles, this is the second chance I'll have to meet her for the first time. I will not idly pass that up. Meeting Kristin would be a dream come true.

In an attempt to show how awesome and/or how technologically advanced I am, I'm going to be using Twitter immensely on this trip: I'll be sending messages while I'm wandering around the city, pictures if I see anything interesting (which I definitely will), and just me being my weird self. You can see what I'm up to throughout the trip (or any other time, of course) by following me on Twitter. I guess if you don't want to be invested though, you can just look at my Twitter without joining... haha. But tell me that using Twitter like that won't be fun. For now, peace.

http://twitter.com/regretandramen

I steal things from Katelin because she's amazing.

a. Go to flickr.
b. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box.
c. Use only the first page.

( Hiding over here... )

( This has been messing up my page for about a month now, so it certainly needs to be hidden behind a cut. )


You are an Indie Scenester! You are at the forefront on the indie scene – you know all the major players. You’re always ahead of the game – moving on to the next thing once everyone joins in. You like to look good and your icons go beyond the centrefold of the NME – your current look is James Dean meets Grace Jones. Just wait – everyone will be wearing it in a year’s time.


http://www.findyourtribe.co.uk/




Do it! It's really fun. It's right up your alley, Katelin.

Before you read, a note from myself.
I do not cuss. I don't like to.
I only cuss when I have to.
I don't like to be mean; it goes against my character.
I only am mean when I have to be.
I do not get angry.
It just doesn't happen.
I'm a pacifist; I don't start confrontation.
I do not get angry.



I am fucking livid.
I say what I mean.
If you know me at all, you know I make it very clear that I mean what I say, and I only say what I mean.
I mean what I say. This is what I say:
When I say I don't like someone, I MEAN that I DO NOT LIKE SOMEONE.
I do not hate people. But I can get pretty damn close.
I'm pretty damn close. Closer than I've ever been.
And the lake is tainted with such poison to sully the life within.
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM?!
WHY DO YOU FUCKING THINK THIS IS AT ALL SMART?!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING CLUELESS?!

There are three people you could name that I truly, at my very core, dislike.
Just three.
That's all.
My list is full.
But I could make room for one more.
You're shooting for that position, aren't you?
This'll be interesting.

DONE.

( One last attempt )

( Have I found the culprit? )

I believe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to make the bold statement that summer is wonderful. I have been stressed... the last couple years have been really hard on me. After everything that happened this time last year, between me and Jean; with Amie changing so drastically, making so many foolish decisions, and growing further apart from me and friends than ever before; between Sarah upright abandoning me as a friend for absolutely no reason four months ago; between struggling, and subsequently (almost?) failing my last semester's classes........ yeah, it's just been pretty bad. Things have been so sour, and when things get so bad, and stay bad for so long, everyone deserves a break.

Summer is my break: a complete break from responsibility. School is my most apparent factor for stress, and now that I haven't had to worry about school since I finally got all passing grades solidified, I have been feeling a lot better. Despite my other stresses, my face has been clearing up dramatically, and despite my day to day annoyances, I've been in a pretty good mood. It's that whole cliché "weight off your shoulders" sort of thing; that "it suddenly feels lighter" thing. I haven't felt that since this time last year, though this is in no comparison to how wonderful I felt in that short time I spent with Jean.

But I'm never given a break, not even during the break I'm given. My major stress factor right now has been my mom. Her ignorance is quickly coming to a head in ways I have never seen before. I speak ill of my mother sometimes, yes, but I can't stand ignorance from anyone, and my mother is no exception.

Let me give you an example, and you can be the judge. I was told today that I am to be going down to Houston to visit family. I was not made aware until today that we would be leaving tomorrow; I am not the least bit prepared, have no time to do what I need to do, nor time to properly pack. My mom had mentioned the vague possibility of going down to Houston sometime in the near future. Near future, as she says, and I directly quote, "sometime in the next month." Not "in a couple days," she said "sometime in the next month." No preparation. She didn't even tell my GRANDMOTHER, who hates traveling, that we were going. Furthermore, I have no choice in this matter; I have to go whether I like it or not because "I haven't been to Houston to visit family recently"... even though said family was here a couple weeks ago in Fort Worth. And what about my plans? I was supposed to go to Ara's birthday party on Saturday, and visit with all my friends, whom I haven't seen in months. What of my plans with them? Cancelled. Because I have no choice; I am going to Houston whether I like it or not.

Who is in the right and who is in the wrong? I don't think I'm being selfish in asking for maybe half a week's notice for a 3-4 day trip over 500+ miles (one way). That would give me time to pack, time to prepare myself mentally for a long trip in a small space to a place I don't really feel like going, at a time I don't really feel like going, for a reason that's not terribly important to me, time to notify my friends and reschedule to see them another time... I mean, I don't think it's too demanding of a task for my mom. But as she as told me before, "stop being so goddamned stupid." Right? Right?

I'm supposed to relax during my summer. I'm supposed to enjoy it. And I am, but these interruptions ruin it intermittently. Think of it as if you were getting a massage: the mood's right, you feel great, every part of your body is in perfect concordance and harmony. Then suddenly, an air siren goes off in the room... yeah, that's what my summer has felt like.






I'll be returning to Chicago soon. The plans are fairly set in stone, though not completely confirmed (as is anything else my mom plans... sigh.). The idea is that I will be heading there sometime after the Fourth of July. As said before, it'll be wonderful to see the city once more, when it's lit up with life in the middle of a hot and humid summer. I can't wait to get lost again. My one goal, my only goal, for this wonderful trip will be truly complete, is to meet Kristin. I've known that crazy girl for three years at least, and we've never once met; separated by 1000 miles, this is the second chance I'll have to meet her for the first time. I will not idly pass that up. Meeting Kristin would be a dream come true.

In an attempt to show how awesome and/or how technologically advanced I am, I'm going to be using Twitter immensely on this trip: I'll be sending messages while I'm wandering around the city, pictures if I see anything interesting (which I definitely will), and just me being my weird self. You can see what I'm up to throughout the trip (or any other time, of course) by following me on Twitter. I guess if you don't want to be invested though, you can just look at my Twitter without joining... haha. But tell me that use of Twitter like that won't be fun.

That's all for now. Too frustrated with ignorance and ignorant people to think straight.
Kaitlin is wonderful. :] But I'm paying for dinner. Mwahaha.

It was two days ago when I had a Silent Hill dream. Normally I'm a daydreamer; I don't have many dreams at night anymore, these days. But my dreams are extremely realistic and vivid - the sort of vivid where if I burned myself in the dream, it would wake me up and feel like a real life burn. My dreams are strong, and mix that with Silent Hill, and well, I'm sure you can begin to imagine.


It took place at my house right now. The area of town was just like it is as normal: cars driving everywhere, people yelling at each other from across the street, the usual. But for some reason unexplained, I could see Silent Hill like creatures. They were completely invisible during the day. But when the sun began to set, you began to see the monsters standing lifelessly everywhere, wherever they may have been when the sun rose. They would become more and more clear the further the sun went down, their ugly frames coming into full view as the sky turned deeper shades of orange and bruised purple. Their bodies would start moving slightly at first. And as soon as the sun hit the horizon line, the creatures would come alive. They were hideous, and made ugly wails on ocassion. Every time I would personally glimpse a new one, this horrible screeching noise would go through every corner of my head, like chalk screeching on a chalkboard, echoing through a tunnel at full volume.

And that was the point of the dream. I could see these creatures, while the rest of the world went about their daily lives. I had to try to keep people from leaving the house at night, and I always had to be upstairs before the creatures fully came to life. Because if I wasn't, I would attract their attention, and they would chase me down until the sun rose (and obviously climb the stairs, break down the door, and that'd be the end of me).

At one point, I had to tell someone else about the creatures, because they were trying to leave the house for some stupid reason while the monsters patrolled the house. And as soon as I told them, they could see the monsters too. It made me feel really sad that I got them so scared... So it was the two of us, and we had to try to protect ourselves from the creatures by staying indoors, and all we could see were the ugly things outside our windows.

There was one incident where I was caught while the sun was almost setting. I was over by the park, which is quite a long way away, and I was doing something I can't remember clearly (I think my bike was broken or something, so I was stuck there trying to fix it). Well, the sun started setting, and the creatures began to come into view, then start moving, then trying to get me! But they weren't fully realized yet, so they couldn't move very fast (not like they could move fast anyway... with their not-completely-normal legs, they just kind of plod along). But they screamed at me, and tried to walk toward me; none of them had faces or arms; they all dripped blood, and had pale skin with horrible bruises all over. GAH. I had to run from the park to home, with the creatures everywhere. By the time I crossed the railroad tracks, the sun was almost completely down, and the creatures had a lot of strength and ability. There were new creatures on the way to my house, the last block I needed to run before safety. They couldn't see me, but they could hear me, and came constantly in my direction because of my footsteps - these had arms, and they reached out for me, grabbing at my shirt and hair. They were grouping around my house the closer I got, and right before the sun went entirely down, and they could truly follow me, I slammed the door... they scraped the windows and banged the door, but couldn't get through.

I woke up a couple times through the night because of the dream, but as soon as I woke back up, the dream picked up where it had left off. So terrifying... Just the vision of the creatures alone is enough to make me shiver and sick to my stomach. It wasn't a nightmare though... it didn't force me to wake up - I just woke up for various reasons, like weird noises from the air conditioner, or sunlight through the window. Btu still... Wah! I'm just glad I vented it all here right now, and hopefully the dream won't come back any time soon. Done.

Insomniac's Log, Friday, June 19th, 2009 - 6:34 AM.
I have lost all track of day, date, and time. I didn't even know it was Friday until I checked the date just now (I was convinced it was Wednesday). Welcome to summer, I suppose? Perception is such a fickle, relative thing when you remove the normalcy of a situation. Maybe that's something of an appeal, though maybe it's also the detractor. But who am I to judge, for I embrace the inane not like a welcome change, nor like a enlightening experiment, but more as an addict looking for one last score, one last feeling, one last rush of adrenaline pumping through every corner of my body, wriggling around my bones, crawling across my skin. I feel the aches forming across my neck, my back, my legs; my eyes sag in the mirror, my hair becomes frizzy, and I yawn; my heart beats slowly, knowing I'm overexerting myself, attempting to keep myself as subdued as possible, yet my mind contends with the ebb and flow of theory - idea - imagination - insinuation - contemplation - realization - thousands, upon millions, upon billions of electrical impulses bolting through my cerebrum as if it were struck by lightning. A rush and a drug, only a life vampires are to know so well. I am a creature of the night, though I won't take your blood. I live in the darkness, lit by the artificial until the natural overcomes, and I retreat to the depths of the debt my body has accrued.


I am an insomniac. No, I haven't even seen any sort of doctor about it. So technically, I've never been diagnosed. But their opinions matter not, because I know better. I am an insomniac, and it is one of my most unique faults. It's not that I can't sleep, no, because I certainly can if I really tried. And it's not as if I don't enjoy sleep, because there is nothing more refreshing than eight hours of dream-filled, uninterrupted, fulfilling sleep. It's that I simply do not like sleeping. I never have. My mom always stayed up late, and I was always banished to my bed, told to sleep instead of experience the strange world that I was given no knowledge to after the sun set. That was then, back in the age of naïvety and youth.

And this is now: I am an insomniac. I always had trouble sleeping; I've always had trouble calming down my mind. I've never been good at sitting in one place for too long, because sooner or later, the avalanche of thoughts will always begin to tumble downhill within my mind. It's an unstoppable force of thought, a force only merely numbed, dulled, and slowed with a healthy dose of alcohol - my only "cure," my only tool to easily pass my body into sleep when it is unwilling. Unhealthy, yeah, I know, but so is insomnia. What's unhealthy is not letting your body recycle itself; what is not healthy is refusing your body the chance to rest and recover. Stringing yourself out, they call it.

But I can't help myself. Sleep feels good, but life feels so much better. I've always hated mornings - they're good for nothing except for maybe a temporary state of anticipation for the sun's rising over the horizon's treeline. Breakfast tends to make me sick, and as fun as pancakes and doughnuts are, they're not worth the effort of waking up early. I'm not a coffee person either. And who honestly enjoys waking up anyway? Who enjoys the cessation of their dreams, as they are thrust back into the real world by a bright light floating through the sky like a villain, stealing your subconscious from your mind's grasp? Not I, not I.

Rejecting sleep feels so good. When I sleep at night, I feel as if I'm missing something crucial. When everyone else sleeps, the world is in a state of pause. If you don't have a watch with you, midnight could be 5:00, or 4:00 could be 10:00, you wouldn't know. The world is a state of limbo without the sun, and I love it. The night is wonderful, and the morning its antonym. I should sleep through the morning, yes, but... I just don't. Sometimes, I just don't. I can't, though I can, but I don't. It makes no sense to me sometimes... But staying up is a rush, a thrill, an addiction. As if I were testing my body. I know it's unhealthy, and I know that I should sleep. But sometimes, like tonight, I just don't want to. Sometimes I just want to stay awake, because sleeping is a minor inconvenience of my life; because sleeping is a goddamned fallibility of my body that I have no choice but to deal with. Maybe this is my rebellion against nature, or maybe it is completely illogical, I don't know. But I am an insomniac, whether you like it or not. Take me or leave me, because I'm not going anywhere.





I'm going to be starting a Sims story soon. It's Kaitlin's thing... I've seen them before, but I've never experimented with them. I've set up the stage for this story of mine, and I like the direction I intend to take it. But that's in the future. Chicago is also in the fturue: My mom seems to think that we will be heading there sometime before or after Independence Day. I think it'd be fun to spend Independence Day in Chicago, in such a wonderful, tremendous, loving, breathing, vibrant city. I'd love to watch fireworks there. I was in Chicago for Christmas, but I was not ready to leave when I did. I have to make up for lost time if I in fact return once more. Sears Tower, I'm looking at you. If the plans work right, and I am in fact going, I absolutely cannot wait.


The way The Sims Story works, at least the way Kaitlin is doing it, is that you show your Sims profile along with their pictures before you start and whatnot. Well, if you know anything about lunatics/dorks like myself, you know that we're obsessive, and love making lists about nothing in particular. Thus, I'll do one, but for myself... Just cause....


Chris Fox: Hopeless Romantic, Insomniac, Artistic, Loner, Vegetarian
Favorite Music: Explosions In The Sky, The Decemberists, Stars, Broken Social Scene, Death Cab for Cutie, Bright Eyes, Sigur Rós, The Pillows, !!!, The Arcade Fire.
Favorite Food: Cheese Pizza
Favorite Color: Blue
Aspiration: Novelist
Likes: Music, Internet, Not Wearing Pants, Japanese, Pepsi.
Dislikes: Morning, Mushrooms, Impatient People, Hot Weather, Math.
Greatest Benefits: Imaginative, Understanding, Caring
Worst Faults: Inability To Sleep Healthily, Physically Weak, Shy
Philosophical Belief: Very Ethical
Religious Philosophy: Fate
Political Ideal: Liberal
Ideal Habitat: Metropolis
Philias: Staying Awake, Video Games, Daydreaming
Phobias: Thunderstorms, Needles, Lonelines

I feel like I don't update this enough. Goes with the whole, "Don't say something if you don't have anything worth saying" idea that's affixed in my mind for my whole life, basically. I'll try to update more if I can though. I need to just vent more stuff, even if it's unitelligble, uninteresting, or uninformative.

I'm officially a passing student for last semester. All that business is over now! Whew! It's nice to see I have all passing grades. It's also nice to have nothing silly to worry. Well... I guess I should be concerned about my money, until I have an actual income again... As much as I detest the thought of worrying about money, when you have less than $1000, and you're forced to make it last until the indefinite future, you have a little right to fret.

Thankfully, the only thing I really have to fret about is myself, as far as monetary concerns go. I haven't been spending anything lately, which feels great. What have I bought? Let's think... I believe there was a song or two off of iTunes... There was The Sims 3, which is the most expensive thing I've paid for in ages. I spent $40 on two EVE accounts... seems like a lot, but as long as I continue to play the game consistently, I'll be able to pay for the game with in-game money (playing for mmorpg with fake money! that'll be the life!). I recently got Silent Hill (the movie), but it was only five dollars, so no biggie; I also got Slumdog, which was more pricey (but c'mon, it's Slumdog). I've mooched as much as possible too; my mom wanted to go to Movie Trading Company, and off her odd randomness of generosity, I scored four DVDs for free - sweet! And the only thing I really want right now is Honey & Clover, because it's so fun and cute. WHY IN THE WORLD AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN?! Maybe this is why I haven't been updating so often, haha.

Omegle and EVE have been kind of consuming me, more than usual. It's a lot of fun, but I know I should probably do some other things. I wish I had a pool, or knew someone with a pool. I haven't been swimming in almost a year and a half, if not longer, and I'm pale like nobody's business. I need to finish my test family in The Sims; I think I'm getting ready for a proper one soon. We'll see - as soon as I'm content with a family that I start, you'll know, cause I'll post up a story here. Woo. The ideas, they be a'buzzin' through my head. Read Voilà! if you're not busy. Peace out for now.